Escaping Words

I miss writing. Sometimes I read what I've written and I'm surprised by my own words, thoughts, or feelings. I'm that person who will come across old journals, read a few entries and tear the written-on pages out, just to save the rest of the notebook. I even delete old entries when I come across my old livejournal page.

I think part of what scares me about writing is how permanent it is. Once written, especially nowadays, it can be searched, copied, or retweeted. This can be done with or without my knowledge. That makes me hesitant to put anything down on paper. Speaking always seemed more transient, though now I recognize the fallacy in thinking that way.

Recently, something happened that reminded me how our words can affect other people. In that sense, conversations that happen in the moment are often much more raw than those over email or even IM. When typing, one can hit backspace as many times as needed. One can even delete a whole entry (or blog). When speaking, however, one can't ever take it back. Once spoken, those words have escaped into the surrounding air. Any efforts to take it back or to rephrase only adds to the clutter of the offending words.

It's interesting what we remember of other people's words. You never know what it is you've said that I'll hang on to for years to come. I know I am often surprised by what others remember of my words. Something I said offhand or in passing often lingers in the minds of others. That gives me pause.

This incident was a good reminder to be careful when I choose my words. While a verbal offer can be rescinded, a lie exposed, or a promise broken, it is impossible to forget the original words and the contrasting emotions when the the illusion is shattered.

What do you want others to remember?

2011 in Review!

Every year for New Year's Eve, my mom has us write down our year and what happened each month. Even though it seemed tedious at the time, it's nice to reflect at least once a year. 

Here is my 2011, month-by-month:

Jan - Wedding planning started in full swing as we tasted cakes, interviewed florists, and picked a restaurant.

Feb - We went to (our first?) sing-a-long at the Retro Dome (The Sound of Music).

Mar - We embarked on our epic Sonoma bike trip (included rain, storm, hitchhiking, and a great lodge).

Apr - We too our bikes down the California Coast from Saratoga to Santa Barbara (via Santa Cruz, Monterey, Lucia, Cayucos, and Santa Maria)

May - I interviewed for my current job!

Jun - I married the most wonderful man on a gorgeous Sunday evening.

Jul - We returned from our beautiful honeymoon in Canada (Whistler, Vancouver, train ride through the Rockies, drive from Banff to Jasper, and a week in Toronto).

Aug - I auditioned for the choir I'm in now (and took voice lessons to prepare for the callbacks).

Sep - We started Wednesday game night, which includes dinner with friends and a board game, along with awesome conversation.

Oct - Sue married a stellar man, who is always a gracious host when I visit. .

Nov - We made our annual visit to Taiwan to see our grandparents, parents, and family.

Dec - This year, instead of caroling, we had a non-caroling Holiday Party complete with dinner, friends, and Christmas lights.

This was a busy year, but one filled with friends, family, and lots of love. Here's toasting to a new year with rekindled connections, keeping family close, and making new friends. 

Cheers!

Shooting Star Bed and Breakfast

 Highly Recommended

This was a small, three guestroom, bed and breakfast on the north shore of Lake Tahoe. Below is my review I am leaving for them. There was a view of the lake from the living area upstairs and they have many amenities making it (in some ways), better than home. 

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Bay Room, http://www.shootingstarbandb.com/poppic_bay.htm

Wow! What a wonderful end to a not-so-great ski day in Tahoe. When we got there Bill and Aimee were hanging up a decoration outside, but he came to our car to greet us and to make us feel welcome. It's so luxurious to have a gas fireplace and heated tiles in the room, and the whirlpool tub is, quite literally, like having a hot tub in the bathroom.

The next morning Aimee made us crepes for breakfast (delicious!) and we had a wonderful breakfast chat with the other two guests and Aimee. It was definitely cozy to have such an intimate, home-cooked breakfast.

The shared living spaces are well furnished. The sofa overlooking the lake was especially delightful. It's warmed by the sun in the morning and was an indulgent place to crochet from.

Aimee was a super gracious host, recommending dining options and helping us with some technical difficulties as we were leaving. I wish we could have stayed longer!

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booked on bedandbreakfast.com

stayed 12/25/2011

shooting star website

315 Olive Street
Carnelian Bay, CA 96140, USA

Solo Journey on HWY 1

http://andyvandyke.com/drive-california-big-sur-highway/

This was the reason I wanted to take Highway 1 today. 

We biked this trip last April and I have such fond memories of all the places we stayed and passed through. A ridejoy ride fell through last minute, so it was just me and my car from the northern cliffs of the coast to the flat beaches of Southern California.

I decided to exercise my freedom by driving the long way south. By the time I got to Monterey, I thought I was making pretty good time. This was already day two of our bike trip! I decided to stop at a new restaurant (that we didn't stop at before) at Big Sur, the Big Sur River Inn & Restaurant. It was a leisurely lunch with The Marriage Plot, by Jeffrey Eugenides. I learned that I don't mind eating alone as long as I have something concrete to do. There is also a gift shop, Local Color, that had the perfect gift for Edward!

It's always hard to choose between the mountains and the ocean, but luckily, I didn't have to choose! The view was amazing, although I really had to steal my glances carefully as I also had to drive. I stopped on the road a few times to soak in the view (and to sneak in a nap).

There were still a few lane closures from the big storm a while back. I even sneaked in some crocheting while we waited for oncoming traffic to pass us. I didn't get to Santa Barbara until it was dark...

I love Highway 1. The Pacific Coast Highway will always be special to me (first bike tour). That said, here is my suggestion: drive Highway 1 when you're not in a rush, with friends, and stop by a couple of the places along the way.

• Lucia Lodge is a beautiful place to stay (and they have "award-winning" fish and chips!). 
• If you've never been, Hearst Castle deserves a stop. 
• Cayucos is a fun little beach town to wander through (but don't try to stay at the Vagabond Inn... they no longer exist). 
• After San Luis Obispo, the towns seem to get bigger. The scenery flattens out and it starts to look like Southern California (with the palm trees and the beaches). 

Time to plan a slower-paced highway one vacation!

Ron Charles' Fiction Recommendations 2011

When I listen to podcasts, I often wish that there was a text-based summary so that I can remember what books/articles/things they referenced. Since I don't know of a program that does that for me (feel free to recommend one), I did this one myself.

It doesn't require a lot of extra time, and, as you can see, it is not as organized as I'd like (no parallel structure of author, title, info). Having this would really increase the value of what I listen to.

PBS Newshour
December 28, 2011
Ron Charles' Fiction Recommendations 2011

• Jesmyn Ward,  "Salvage the Bones", National Book Award
• "State of Wonder" by Ann Patchett, she opened a bookstore this year, wrote "Bel Canto"
• historical novel by Mary Doria Russell, "Doc"
• "The Marriage Plot" by Jeffrey Eugenides, most people remember "Middlesex." It won the Pulitzer Prize, "The Virgin Suicides" before that.

Watch Book Critic Ron Charles Discusses Year's Best Works of Fiction on PBS. See more from PBS NewsHour.